Why the Hate?

As is common knowledge (or at least I think...?), I am taking an Introduction to Philsophy course at NCC this semester. I cannot express how glad I am that I only have to sit through two more class discussions. We are now discussing the topic "Philosophy of Religion". The first day of class while reviewing the syllabus I noticed this topic was scheduled and immediately I felt sick. I knew I would be hearing some mind-boggling opinions kids of my generation had about God. And indeed, my high hopes were met.

Today, was especially interesting and equally frustrating. The beginning of the class people did not have much to say about God being our intelligent designer. He wanted us to disprove a philosopher's theory who said this world being created without an intelligent designer does not make sense. I had nothing to say and I am glad no one else did either. He then entered another branch dealing of the philosophy of religion. We began to discuss the ontological (an account of being) theory of God. A follower of this theory was St. Anselm, a major theologian. His essay in our textbook dealt with his rebuttal tactic for theists debating with atheists about God.

Our professor asked the class to give some reasons as to why someone would not believe in God. One girl gave a cliche response, "I can't see him how do I know he is there?" As I sat in my chair, grinding my teeth, all I could keep on thinking was how stupid that reason is! I mean, seriously? What about gravity, air. Can anyone out there "see" that? No. But, we hold onto its existence for our existence. Why is it so hard for people to get that? No, we don't see God, but oh, how we all need Him like the air! Even now, I have that burning feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just want to get up, scream and say, "OPEN YOUR EYES! WHY CAN'T YOU LET HIM LOVE YOU?! ALL OF THE ANSWERS YOU LOOKING FOR ARE RIGHT THERE!"

My favorite response of the day, though, came from a young gentleman. His apology on God was this: Let us suppose that predestination exists. God plans a person's life from the day he/she is born until the day he/she dies. If this is the case, God makes a person kill another person. So, doesn't that make God a murderer? If a person cannot control his/her life, everything done is God's fault.
I must give the guy credit for creativity. It is a sick, disgusted, perverted creativity, but an interesting thought nonetheless. Very original. When I heard that, though, my heart sunk. He said it with such firmness, bitterness and conviction, I cannot comprehend how someone could hate the God I love so much. I mean honestly, what has God ever done to these people?

What is even worse about all of this is I sit in my chair silent. My professor is looking for us to bring up topics that do not deal with God's goodness or love. He just wants us to prove that it is a necessity to have an Intelligent Designer. That is it. I sit in my seat wanting to yell and scream at these people, but cannot. For me, I love my God becaise of His kindness and goodness. Do not get me wrong, I do believe that this world does not make sense without a Creator. I mean seriously, everything in existence would have to be a pretty fantastic accident. Like my professor said, if this world was an accident, there should be no continuity among species. None.

When I hear these kind of upsetting statements or comments in class, I have to write little prayers or poems in my notebook to vent out those intense emotions I experience. Otherwise, I would be creating a ruckus and not demonstrating self-control as I walked around to each person smacking them upside the head. Here is what jumbled off of my pen today:
I sit in your world,
I feel your pain.
Oh, those words that pain.
Worse
Than the stab of a sword.
The nausea,
The knots,
I can't believe
My ears.
God,
Your beautiful creation
Hates who you are.
God,
Your beautiful creation
Wants to live on their own.
Rescue their souls.
Save their lives.
Touch them.
Be real to them.
Oh, God
Your beautiful creation.

Please, pray for my class. Pray for my professor. Pray for me. I hope I am presented with a good opportunity to talk about my God before class is over. An opportunity when I am level headed and able to control those feelings of anger and disappointment.